Paulina Porizkova revealed she’s suffering with depression after the death of her late husband Ric Ocasek.
Porizkova and the rocker were in the midst of a divorce at the time of his passing, and she recently moved out of the home they owned together. In an emotional Instagram post on Monday, Porizkova detailed her current battle with depression while sharing a somber selfie of her hand raised to her head.
“Here’s the truth. While I thought the hard part was carrying the burden- it turns out setting the weight down is what really undid me,” she wrote.
Paulina Porizkova opened up on social media this week about her battle with depression since the rocker’s death in 2019.
“Starting last year- since my husband got diagnosed -I’ve been on a strange journey. Paddling a canoe in a stormy sea. My boys are in the back, scared but preoccupied. Sometimes the waves are smaller and easier to navigate, some days I lose my paddle and waves threaten to overwhelm. But I know my purpose is to get myself and my kids to safety, to the beach,” she continued.
The widow explained she tends to be “on the anxiety spectrum,” suffering from “jitters” and persistent crying spells.
“Depression is a complete lack of any sort of energy. While I will keep posting – I have zero energy to reply or interact – so please forgive me for not doing so for the next forseeable [sic] time,” she added.
She pointed out that depression is “as much physical as it’s emotional,” noting that she feels “incredible physical heaviness” amid “constant tears.”
“This for me is day 3 in which I feel like my bones are made of lead pipes. Ludwig burping makes me angry and tearful, and I feel made out of lead,” she explains.
Paulina Porizkova and Ric Ocasek were in the middle of a divorce when he died in 2019 of cardiovascular disease. The two share two sons together.
“DONT WORRY GUYS, I am not suicidal. I just feel really really bad,” she informed her followers.
On Tuesday, the supermodel opened up in greater detail about her journey with a post showing her reading a book titled “Keep Moving” by Maggie Smith. She thanked her followers for showing her an “outpouring of love and support” amid her pain.
“The most wonderful thing about posting raw feelings is when someone [sic] tells me they feel the same way, and I just helped THEM to feel less lonely. It makes ME feel less lonely, and at the same time, makes me feel like Ihelped [sic] someone.”
According to Yahoo Entertainment, Porizkova revealed in May of 2018 that she and Ocasek had separated.
Things eventually got bitter between the two, as the rocker cut both Porizkova and two of his six children out of his will. The former couple share two sons, Jonathan, 26, and Oliver, 22.